Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.
28 After this, when Jesus knew that all was now finished, he said (in order to fulfill the scripture), “I am thirsty.” John 19:25b-28 NRSV
Of course you are thirsty my darling boy.
And I watch helpless.
How I wish I could touch you and hold you in your agony.
My mothers heart is breaking as I watch you struggle.
I am so proud of you.
You have held onto your dignity in the midst of this horror.
Oh my darling boy, why did it have to come to this?
Why couldn’t they just listen and learn?
You have been teaching in words and in action about God’s loving heart,
But instead they do this to you.
My heart is breaking,
I want to reach up with a cup of cool water,
Hold it to your lips,
Let you have some comfort in your pain.
We have been through so much, you and I.
That day the angel came to me,
I wondered if anyone would believe me.
Who was I that God chose me?
Just a young girl, a no body.
You made me a somebody.
They will paint me as saintly, demure
Probably wearing blue.
Ha! If only.
You know how I can yell,
You have heard the rough side of my tongue.
You and your brothers led me a merry dance as youngsters.
Kids will be kids, Jospeh would tell me.
But what you dad never got was that
You, you my dear boy were precious.
We had to keep you safe.
Life was hard when you were growing up.
Money could be tight but Joseph
Worked hard in that workshop of his.
Your dad made sure there was always
bread on the table and wine in our cups.
I was so proud when you said you wanted to learn his trade.
Your dad was proud.
He never complained about providing for you,
I would see him glancing at you,
His eyes full of love.
You were his but not his.
And he never resented you or God’s imposition.
Secretly, I think he was proud to have been chosen as your father figure.
I miss him.
I miss his warmth,
I am not sure what he would say about all of this
I rather fear he would have fought them,
Tried to take the cross form you….for you.
Certainly he would shimmy up that cross right now and give you the drink
You so desperately want.
Oh Jesus, my darling boy,
I wish I could reach you, touch you one more time.
You have been in many scrapes but this….this…
Do you remember when you were just a lad,
And we took you to Jerusalem?
That was for the Passover too….
You went missing, the wee monkey you were!
Three days…three days it took to find you!
Why we didn’t think to look in the Temple I don’t know,
But there you were, quite the thing.
And you had them lapping up your every word.
Why this time they couldn’t have listened, I don’t know.
Some of those same faces, I recognise them
All these years later.
Admiration turned to hate and jealousy.
Of course, your words weren’t always quite so gentle,
I still smart at the way you spoke to me at that wedding.
I was only trying to help.
Nudge you along.
I sensed a chance for you to begin to show everyone
How special you were.
And well you showed them.
That was some wedding
And the wine…well it was the best I have ever tasted.
Please wont someone give him a drink…
My darling boy,
Know that I am proud of you,
So very proud.
I will try and be strong, I will.
I have the two Mary’s to look after me
And of course, your beloved friend will provide for us.
Oh, that I could take this away from you.
Ah here is someone at last,
Although I am not sure that sponge is very clean,
And that wine looks sour….
Listen to me mithering on…
My darling, darling boy.
I love you so very much.
My heart is breaking,
I can’t bear to watch
I can’t bear to leave.
Oh Jesus, why this way?
Why God, why?
© Shuna Dicks March 2018